Back in High School

Currently on Facebook my friends have been tagging one another with a note comparing their high school lives to their current lives. The questions ask you to compare what you do now to what you did in high school and are generally fun to read. One of the questions though -- If you could go back and do it again, would you? -- always makes me cringe. For many years the thought of going back to high school and doing it all over again made me laugh because the answer would have been a resounding "No way in Hell!" It's not that I had a bad high school experience, but I was not one of the popular girls and always felt like I didn't fit in. Now that I'm older and, perhaps, a bit wiser, I might consider doing it all over again. Mainly because I've since learned that most women felt exactly the same way in high school. But also because living in Suburbia is in many ways like being back in high school.

In Suburbia, like high school, there cliques and belonging to the "popular" crowd is a matter of fitting in. You have to dress the right way, drive the right car, belong to the right organizations, send your kids to the right preschools, etc. When your accepted, it feels great. Women acknowledge you in public, invite you to parties and special gatherings. But, just like high school, when you're not accepted, you're ignored and made fun of. I'll never forget one of my first introductions to this world. Showing up to chaperone a field trip, I did not know a single person. I decided to be proactive and make friends. I went up to the other moms -- most of whom already knew each other -- and tried to get in on the conversation. Not a single person would talk to me. And worse, the conversation centered around tennis and skiing -- two activities I do not participate in. It wanted to leave and considered doing so, until one very nice mom came up to me and smiled. She took pity on me and I thank her for it -- I almost went back home to pack up the family and leave town. During the field trip, I didn't give up. I approached at least 3 of the women and forced them to have a conversation with me, mainly one-on-one. Generally we were more alike than different, but once the field trip was over, the connections were over. Over the years I've seen these women at one time or another and each time I'm once again invisible.

The most maddening aspect of this phenomenon is that one-on-one, most women in Suburbia are pleasant and decent human beings, but when they get into their cliques or they begin to believe the hype about themselves....watch out! Suddenly the claws come out.

So upon further reflection, bring high school on! It might not be so bad the second time around.