"Real" Beauty

I have no idea what's real anymore. People on TV, in magazines, in sports, in the local grocery store. We have become a society so altered by cosmetic surgery, Botox, Restylane and steroids I don't know who's real and who's not. That actress that I so admired for her natural beauty? Botox, tummy tuck and a boob job. That athlete that my son thinks is the greatest? Steroids. The dazzling mom from my daughter's school? Restylane and 5 hours a week in the salon.

Case in point, beauty contests, like them or not, have become plastic surgery contests. Years ago these contests were about poise, grace, intelligence and, yes, also beauty. But now contestants have ribs removed, eye brows lifted, breast enhanced. What are we really judging?

We have become a world of constructed beauty and perfection. It's not enough to have a lovely smile, beautiful eyes or a natural athletic ability, we now have to push all these things to their extreme. Your skin has to be smoother, your tummy tighter, your breasts perkier, you have to run faster, be stronger, look younger..... there is no end to this. You are never going to be good enough. And what messages are we sending to young boys and girls? In some cases we're dragging them into the insanity. Girls getting bikini waxing at age 12. Boys with personal trainers at age 10. What are we thinking?

I'm not opposed to people wanting to look good and strive toward an achievement. I am myself a Type A personality. But at what point do we say "ENOUGH"! The negative long term effects of this obsession with perfection are already evident. Many of our favorite "pretty" actresses don't look so pretty anymore. With their expressionless foreheads and pumped up lips, they look freakish! The athletes we so admired for their achievements have left us feeling disappointed and empty. In the future as we learn more about who did and did not use chemical enhancements, who will remain to honor in our Hall of Fames?

In my perfect world we would take this view on the things that really count. Knowledge, learning, exploring ideas, helping others. If we put half as much energy in improving our performance in these area, who knows what the world might look like. We might not be as "beautiful" but we might be more real.

Gym Rats

Women in Suburbia look great. They’re all thin, well dressed and have beautifully coiffed hair. Sometimes it’s downright depressing. You rarely see a woman with real hips and curves, let alone an overweight woman. For a long time I could not figure out their secret, but then I joined a gym.

Let me rewind by saying that prior to taking a full-time job outside the home, I was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. I felt very fortunate to be able to do this, but it wasn’t without some sacrifice. I had to give up luxuries like nice clothes, manicures, expensive haircuts and gym memberships. I enjoyed exercise, but couldn’t afford to go to a gym and found it hard to find the time to workout on my own with two small kids. Then there was the issue of taking care of my kids. I believed that since I was at home it was my job to take care of them. I rarely passed them off to babysitters. When I did it was never for “me time”. In an attempt to get some exercise I walked, but as I got older it did little to keep the pounds off. Once I went back to work and my kids were older and more self reliant, I realized that I needed to get back into some type of real exercise routine. I decided to take a yoga class and this introduced me to the world of corporate wives and their insane workout routines.

When I say insane, I mean these women workout three,sometimes four, hours a day! Some have nannies at home for their little ones and others bring their kids along to the free babysitting provided for members. Now I will admit, since joining I have become much more of a gym rat. I take classes whenever I can, but it averages out to about 1 hour each day and most of the classes I take are yoga classes. These women are typically not taking yoga, they are taking hardcore cardio classes like kickboxing and spinning and the occasional pilates class (for rock hard abs). They are so intense about their workouts that the gym has had near riots because of the signups required for spinning classes. Spinning, you may or may not know, burns more calories than just about any other workout routine, thus the crazed need to be on that 9:00 am spinning list. Rarely will they be bothered with an exercise class that does not burn calories or sculpt their bodies, regardless of the long-term health benefits.

Over time I learned more and more about these exercise obsessed moms. Beyond the three hour workouts, many of them get Botox, often as a group. (I will admit as I write this, I am violently opposed to injecting poison into anyone’s body for the sake of wrinkle reduction.) Then I also learned about the cosmetic surgery that so many have had. Who knew?

I’m not free of vanity – I want to look good – but at this point in my life being healthy and feeling good is much more important than trying to look young forever. I now take great pride in my imperfect, 41 year old body because despite the fact that it’s not a size two, it’s healthy and free of botulism.